sparkles journal

bdsm, Owned and collared, slave, submission, daily life, and life's reflections

BDSM PARTY, the kick off

We had our monthly party this past Saturday night.  What a blast.  Our parties are so much fun.  Master and I were the kick off to get everyone going.  We are the host and hostess of the group.  Everyone was standing around and we wanted to get the party started.  Master tied my breast.  People started watching us.  One person even pulled up a chair to watch close so he could see how to tie.   Master is very good at tying.  Then he tied me to a metal piece of equipment.  It is not the Saint Andrews cross, although we do have one of those.  This particular piece of equipment has a cross piece of metal in the center and the sides have wide enough pieces of metal going across that you can tie someone to it very securely.  He tied my breast to the sides of the metal with rope, one on each side of the equipment of course.  He spread my legs as far as I could spread and tied my ankles to the metal.  He also tied my wrists and attached them to the sides of the metal apparatus.  Then he began to flog me.  He floggs me hard but I enjoy it.  He takes a moment and reaches from behind me wrapping his arms around me and squeezes and pulls my nipples hard.  I want to cum.  He counts down.  Five, four, three, I don’t think I can hold it, two, one and then commands me to cum and I do, hard.  Then he calls a female over to hold a vibrator on me and he gets his dragons tail.  He comes back with it and is hitting my back and my butt with it.  He hits hard enough that I am gasping and moaning loud.  When he starts counting down for me to cum, each of the hits from the whip get harder and harder, on the fifth one I feel a stinging pain, it is almost too much,  I scream and cum.  He continues to whip me hard.  He takes a moment to feel my wet mound and inserts his fingers and thrusts hard inside me over and over.  I am cumming and squiting everywhere, including spraying on the girl who is holding the vibrator on me.  Then he went back to whipping me.  This session I am told was about an hour long.  After a while, I no longer felt the pain of the hits, even though he was still hitting me hard, I felt them but they didn’t hurt anymore. I didn’t notice any of the people that were watching.   All I could do was hear his voice and feel the vibrator.  Subspace.  My head was spinning and it was just one long continuous orgasm.  I am a slave, no safeword.  He knows me and he knows when I have had enough.  He carefully unties me and puts a chair behind me.  he puts a towel on the chair for me and guides me back so I don’t fall.  Then wraps a warm towel around me and hugs me, a gentle kiss is shared and he stands beside me to give me comfort.  After a couple of minutes I hear the sound of whips and I look up and people are playing.  Our energy gives them energy.

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Yesterday it rained on my happiness

I have been so happy these past months.  Even though it isn’t always easy, I had a rough summer with accelerated college courses but still managed to get on the Dean’s list.  I went to work yesterday, I work as a professional Domme in a dungeon.  A client texted me a few days ago and said he made an appointment but it was with the wrong Domme.  He informed me that he told her he wanted me but she made the appointment with her.  He asked me if I could fix this because he wanted to see me.  I thought he was pulling my leg so I called the other mistress and in fact she told me it was true.  The guy called her and realized he had the wrong one and she said she made it with her anyway.  I didn’t know what to say except, can you cancel it on your calendar so I can schedule it for me because he wants it at that time with me.  He also wanted someone else as an extra, she makes half the amount of money that I do, because she is just an assist, which also was not the mistress he had originally called.  I actually prefer to work alone. but if the customer wants an extra I will go along with it.   The extra would be the dungeon owners wife.  Working as a pro Domme helps to give me some money while I am attending school.  My customers pay me very well.

The people that run the dungeon wanted a new girl to “sit in” on one of my sessions yesterday and I told them no.  I was not comfortable with it.  I didn’t know who the girl was or anything about her and I have never seen her before.  and they didn’t really know her either.  She could have been anyone. She came out of nowhere and just recently this week opened a Fetlife account with a lame profile.  I didn’t trust her or their judgement.  Everyone else they asked, all the other Domme’s had already refused.  I was the only one left.   Furthermore, they didn’t let me ask my client if it was alright with him, and I think that is just wrong on every level because it is suppose to be private and discreet and this man was already nervous because he was married.  I was about five minutes into my session when I was told this girl would be sitting in.  I informed the owners wife that was assisting me, that I already said no to them the night before and I meant it.  She informed me it didn’t matter what I or the customer wanted because her husband said it was going to happen.  Well, I had to leave my client for a few minutes to go speak with him.  For names sake I will call the dungeon owner ass on here.  I went in the office and this girl who was about twenty four was standing there dressed like she was going to have a Domme session.  I shook her hand and introduced myself politely and then informed her that I didn’t know her, I was not comfortable with the idea of her sitting in on a session so NO she could not.  I said “have you ever done Domme work before?”  She informed me that she was a professional .  I then replied “Well, then if you are a professional Domme, you would not need to sit in on one of my sessions you would know what you are doing.”   She looked scared and I don’t think she ever did Domme work in her life.   At that point the ASS told me she was going to sit in on my session, he didn’t care what I thought,  because he said so and that I owed him.  I looked at him and said “I don’t owe you a damn thing!”  He said “You had no shows before and I had to be here to open the dungeon for you.”  Then I replied “Yes and as I do recall, You took half of every one of those deposits so I don’t owe you anything.”  Then I went on to tell him how that I as a leader of a group that Master and I have, we have brought a lot of money into that dungeon.  At that point Ass was a real asshole and then threatened me telling me that If I didn’t let her sit in on my session that I would be sorry.  I snapped back at  him “Don’t threaten me.”  The conversation went on a few more minutes and I really wanted to tell him to his face exactly what I thought of his cheap lazy deceitful no good ass but I held it back.  The only reason I held it back FOR NOW is because of my Master and there would be a lot of disappointed people with no place to have a monthly party.  I would have disappointed a lot of people, because they would have no place to go for a dungeon for now.  Therefore, for Master and all of those people I bit my tongue.  I told him If my client sees this girl, she was not allowed to ever accept an appointment from him because I will be damn if she is going to try to steal any of my clients.  He promised me, she would never be allowed to schedule an appointment with my client.  I don’t believe him.  I don’t believe anything he says.   I looked at her, pointed my finger at her and told her “don’t say one word when you are in there.”  She came in and sat down.  I felt so angry and upset and my client had no say.  I wanted to tell him what was going on so he would have a choice, but they would not let me.  To me this was wrong on every level of wrong that could possibly be.  Part way through my session I see some light and I look over and she has her cell phone out.  I had my client tied down on a table.  I walked over to her and she smiled at me.  I was not smiling back.  When she saw that I was not smiling back her smile left quickly.   I informed her to put that cell phone away.  She did.  I got a few more minutes into my session and I thought I would show her what she was up against.  She was completed flat chested.  If she wore an A cup it would probably be too big.  I said  ” it is hot in here.”   I pulled off my top and her chin almost hit the floor.  There is no competition here.  Yes it was a cruel weapon.  I am petite, I weigh 120 lbs and I am 5’4″,  but my breast are very voluptuous.   I have to squeeze my breast into a DDD and I over flow the cups because I can never find any sexy bras in size  34G.  I have bought a couple but there is nothing pretty or sexy about those bras so I don’t wear them.  Yesterday, I was not wearing a bra.  I don’t think she will be around long.  I was upset so it ruined my session.  Let’s just say, I was in no mood to do a session because of everything that had happened, I was quite icy.  I certainly wasn’t going to show her anything that would have value to her to use in the future with anyone.  I felt bad for my customer and I felt so angry but kept my anger under control.  At the end of the session before the lights got turned on so my customer could gather his things, she was quietly informed that it was time for her to leave.  I was hoping my customer had not noticed someone else sitting in the room because I kept him busy and looking the other way but he did notice.  He wanted to know why someone else was sitting in the room, who was she and was I training her.  The extra that was working with me at that session the Asses wife, then told him, that she was a new Domme and just sitting in and if he wanted a session with her she would be happy to arrange it.  This is after I was assured by Ass that she would never be able to schedule an appointment with my client.

As far as I am concerned there is only one person I owe in my life.  I owe my master respect and gratitude. because he has truly earned it.  He has done so much for me.  He has treated me so well and has given me opportunities that I have never had before and his love for me is abundant as is my love for him.  The rest of this world can kiss my ass.  I don’t owe anybody anything.  I will not be a doormat for people to walk on.

Up until yesterday, I thought that couple  where I work,  were our friends.  They are not.  They are just mere business acquaintances.  I also thought the other mistress was a friend, until she tried to steal a client that wanted me. Maybe it was just bad behavior on her part, I can’t believe she told me that she did that.  A real friend would not try to steal a client from another friend.  I guess, money and friends do not mix.  Surely, she must have realized it was wrong, how could she not realize that?  I would never do that to someone.  I have had clients call me that I knew were the other Mistress’s client and told them that I could not see them because I don’t like to step on my friend’s toes.  They needed to call the mistress they had been seeing.  I didn’t want to make anyone upset or hurt their feelings.  I have respect for people.  Where is my respect in return?

More and more with each passing day I am finding out who my real friends are in this world and who my acquaintances are.    I have two very close friends and we are like three sisters together.  We are there for each other no matter what is going on in our lives.   Those two girls are my real friends.   I love them like sisters.   The rest, are just acquaintances.  They are people that I know, being one of the leaders of a BDSM community,  I know a lot of people.  I was told when I was a young girl that you will have many acquaintances in your lifetime, but your true friends, the ones you can really count on and call your friends you will probably be able to count on one hand.  I am finding this to be true.

It has been a rough week, the week end is coming.  I am looking forward to a fun week end.  Master has plans for us.  He really is so good to me.

Life’s special moments:

I woke up in the middle of the night one evening a few days before Master’s birthday, as I lay there listening to him breath I thought of this for his card.  I quietly got up and jotted down notes and went back to bed.  As I climbed back in bed he reached out like he always does and pulled me close to him.  I truly love this man, this amazing man, with all of my heart and soul.

Dear Master,

I am your slave, your property.  I belong to you.  This does not make me weak.  On the contrary; I am strong.

Although I struggle sometimes to understand things; not just with school but with life in general, I persevere.

I believe in myself because I first believe in You.

I know who I am today, because of You.

Happy Birthday dear Master!  I Love you now and I will Love You Always,

Your loving slave,

xoxoxox

I changed my title to Sparkles Journal

I  finally  got around to changing the title of my journal.  People have called me Sparkles for years now, a shorter nickname for my slave name used on Fetlife.  I wanted the name sparkles on Fetlife when I joined a couple of years ago but someone already had it.   So I had to add a little something extra to it.  The title on my journal here was Vixen’s Submissive journal.  However, I don’t go by the name Vixen anymore,  and I am an owned and collared twenty-four seven slave, not a submissive.  Therefore, the  title didn’t really “fit”  me anymore.   Sparkles fits me.

It’s been a busy summer

Wow, time has flown this summer!  Last fall I began college again.   Master and I were talking  on the sofa one day  last year and he said he thought I should go back to college.  I looked at him and told him that I thought  I was too old to go back to school.  First of all, I wasn’t sure if I could do it again and I was worried I would be older than anyone else.   He asked me what I thought I would like to do.  I thought about it for a little while and decided I might want to be a paralegal.   After  all, after a twenty eight year marriage I did my own divorce without a lawyer or any legal aid.   I  did all the necessary paper work and the filing, and  carried through the process and it went just the way I wanted it. Great  we now had a goal in mind.  The next step was to enroll  at college.  I had to have all of  my transcripts sent from the previous college from so long ago and my high school transcripts.  After jumping through some hoops,  I was in my first class at the college.  I love it!  The law classes are very interesting.  Even if I never get a job as a paralegal, but I’m sure I will, it is a great education.  I  have learned so much this past year.   It also turns out I am not the oldest one there,  in fact there were plenty of students my age and older.  To top it off, I have been on the dean’s list every semester.   Okay,  so now I am bragging, but I think I have earned that right.

This summer, I took three accelerated courses.  Accelerated,  just as much of a workload as a full winter or spring semester in half the time, and I decided to do it online just in case we decided to go somewhere so I would not miss any classes.  OOHHHH, what did I do to myself?  There were days Master came home from work  and he would be in the office with me on his computer and I am on mine.  I  would be talking to him, texting with a friend,  talking on the phone, and yelling at the computer while doing my school work.  lol.  He would say once in a while “are you talking to me or someone else?”  I could see how it could be confusing.  I’d say “Yes I am talking to you and someone else too.”  He has a sense of humor and says that I can speak four languages!  I call it multi-tasking.

Taking three accelerated online  classes is not a good thing.  At least it is not a good thing for me.   I definitely would not recommend it.   There were days I wanted to throw in the towel.   I had to get up and walk away  from the computer because so much information so fast is being thrown all at once.  It was over whelming.  I had teary days.  Alright, actual meltdowns.  Once that happens, the brain seems to stop functioning and is useless for a little while.  But I always came back  and tried even harder.  I couldn’t give up.   So many  test and essays.  Between the law class that I love, the computer class,  and the accounting class, there was such an over abundance of work.  Assignment after assignment, which left no time for anything else.  The hardest class for me was the accounting class.  I thought accounting class would be easy.  I had it in high school and it was simple.  I found out there is a huge difference between high school accounting and college accounting. Everything I believed in was apparently wrong with debits and credits.  I  seldom asked my professor for help,  but my brain just could not grasp debits and credits at first.  I asked her for help and told her I didn’t understand.  Her reply was “You don’t need to understand just do it.  It’s like tying your shoes or learning to speak Spanish.”  REALLY??? I thought “What kind of an answer is that?”  I struggled with it.  I needed to understand why the numbers went where they went.  She said I didn’t.  I know I am smart, but this just wasn’t registering.  A  couple of  weeks later I emailed my professor to ask another question on double declining depreciation.  She told me to find you tube videos, that she doesn’t get paid enough to give lectures.  Clearly,  I was on my own to sink or swim.  Well,  I swam harder than ever.  I watched so many You tube videos on accounting,  some good, some not.  I read the chapter over and over again and did every single assignment and some took hours.  Then near the end she assigned a “class project.”  I was looking to see what group I was in.  I couldn’t find it.   It  was a 137 page assignment on top of all the normal workload that she gave.   I messaged her asking what group I was in.  She said it was to be done individually.  Funny because giving a 137 page assignment call it a class project and do it by yourself doesn’t sound like a class project to me.  It was an enormous amount of work.  I had a lot of problems with it.  I tried to do it numerous times and had to put it down to work on my other classes because  I couldn’t neglect them.  I had a 92%  in that class, and I had a 95.33% on the final exam. but if I didn’t do that project it would have taken me down to a C.  She made that one assignment a good portion of the grade. The assignment that was suppose to work on Word didn’t work.  Her forms did not work, the numbers didn’t fit in the columns.  I tried to adjust the columns and it didn’t work.  It took me a full seventeen hours to complete the assignment.  I had to do it by hand, scan it and hand it in as a PDF file in order to submit it.  I was not happy,  because that project just seemed ridiculous.  But I am glad I did it.  It made all the difference for my final grade.

The transcripts  were in the other day.   I made the Dean’s list again!   I earned every bit of it.  As for the accounting class,  I did learn a lot.  However,   I think I learned more of how to solve problems and issues and how to deal with them.   I  learned that I am a very strong person,  that I don’t give up.  Master says that I am resilient.  He told me he has never seen anyone work as hard as I do.  He is so proud of me.   I also learned that  I never want to take accounting in an accelerated online class again!  It has been a busy summer.   Summer is almost over.  A  week from now my little vacation will  be over and  I will be back in class.  Sitting at a desk in a classroom.  There is more to learn and  I am  ready.

I decided to pick up my journal, I’m back!

I almost deleted this blog a couple of years ago, but  I couldn’t.   So it sat and waited for me to come back to it.  Yesterday at our  munch, I met a woman that said to me, “do  you have a blog?”   I said “no.”   She then proceeded to tell me “but  you use to have a blog.”   I thought how does she know?   It turns out she remembered  my writings and said she use  to read my blog all the time.   She also told me I had quite a fan base.  I had  mixed emotions about this.   First of all, I preferred  to stay anonymous,  because after all, these are  my feelings and my life that I write about.  On the other hand, I was very flattered that someone knew of me and my blog that enjoyed my writings.  I haven’t written in it for about two years.

I use to love write.  It gave me a chance to express my feelings.  I gave it up when I became  Master’s 24/7 live in slave.   Writing is a passion for me.   When she brought the blog to my attention, I realized how much that I truly missed it.    So, Master gave me permission to write in my blog again.  Yay!!!    I had to get  my old email address back and then try to remember the name of my blog.  It didn’t take me long.   I have  deleted about forty five of my writings, but there is still plenty left.  My world  has  changed for the better the last couple of years and life is amazing.   Here I am, ready to write again.

Fairy tales?

What can I say?  Do fairy tales come true?  It has been almost a year since I have been with Master.  Life has been nothing short of amazing.  I am so much in love with him.  I can’t believe how time has flown by.  So do fairy tales come true?  My knight in shining armor did not arrive on a white beautifully decorated horse with him dressed in white.  My knight in shining armor wore all black clothing with a black leather vest and boots, and was driving a black Mercedes Benz.  He captured my love, my heart and soul.  I have made him very happy and he tells me he loves me every day.  We will spend the rest of our lives together.  Dreams do come true, and yes fairy tales do come true.

Daily reflections

It is such a beautiful day.  Had a blast last night.  Life is AMAZING!  🌞

Daily reflections – My journal

I had planned on closing this journal and had every intention to.  But I have put so many of my thoughts here.  I gave it time to see if that is what I really wanted to do .  Over time I have been able to be myself here and I have had so much support and guidance along the way and even made some friendships here.  I think I will keep it. 

These past three months my life has gone through so many changes.  I have never been so happy for so long And never this happy .  My life is just amazing.

Yesterday was a huge milestone for me and I want to share my happiness.  Yesterday Master and I had a collaring ceremony.  He collared me in front of 50 of our closest friends.  Then we played for a while on the spanking bench then he put me on the. Sybian for a while.  It was great!  He wanted to make sure I was very well taken care of before the next part of our ceremony.  A ring that will never be removed and to also indicate his ownership of me.  He had my hood pierced with 50 people watching .  Talk about intense!  I tried to be brave but when that needle went in me I let out a scream.  But it was done soon enough and when the ring was finally in place the Dom that pierced me said “congratulations you are now a real slave.”  Then people all around me chanted “one of us, one of us.”  Then clapping.  After all that we broke through another one of my hard limits fire flash play.  Master was so proud of me. He was so happy .  Before we went to sleep he told me he loved me and said “you were amazing tonight.”  I love him so much.   Today I was exhausted .  We just relaxed all day.

Daily Reflections My last post

This is my last post on wordpress under the name sparkles.  It has been great being here i have made many friends even though i have never met most of you personally.  My journey is moving on.  i am moving into a 24/7 Master slave relationship.  It has been great knowing all of you over this time,  i feel i have gotten to know many of you.  Thank you for all of your moral support that you have given me over the last few years, i have appreciated each and every one of you.  i am only going to leave my site open here for a couple of days then i will be closing it. xo

Daily Reflections – Life gets so busy sometimes

I have not had a chance to write in this blog or my business one here in a while.  i have been so busy with my businesses, and my daily life in general.  i have however, taken time out for some friends and also made some new ones.  i have had some first, i didn’t know i had any first left but i guess throughout life there is always a first for something!  🙂  i was invited to my first munch by a friend.  As i walked up the stairs to enter the munch, i reached the top and entered the room and closed the door behind me.  i wasn’t scared, i wasn’t nervous, or apprehensive.  I am so surprised at how comfortable i was walking in there, no turning back for me.  I felt very welcome and the people there were all so very nice. People walked up to me as i walked into the room said hello, shook my hand and welcomed me in.  I felt very at home and at ease.  When it was my turn to introduce myself i stood up and spoke with confidence and ease.  There was even interaction at that time with conversation back and forth while i was still standing, and i was so relaxed.  This all came so natural for me.  i don’t know why. i am usually nervous when entering somewhere meeting new people, but no nerves. The food was delicious, there was interesting conversation.   I was happy to be there.  They are my kind, lol.  Yesterday for the first time i typed in the name fetlife.com in the URL of my laptop and joined.  i don’t know what i am going to do there, but it is a start. i didn’t complete my entire profile, because i am not sure what i am doing.  But, i am there.   Baby steps.

Daily Reflections – today’s pics

You know me so well Sir.  You have to admit though i could pull off that domme type outfit with my little whip.  i can;t wait to see the pics you send to me that i asked you for.  Or wait, i think i actually didn’t ask, i demanded, lol.  i swear Sir, i am not a monster, lol.  But if you want me to fill the role Sir it pleases me to please you.  What is your pleasure Sir?  We could take turns, lol. i can be very talented, if i want to i could be controlling, powerful, demanding, making you surrender to me.  Or i can be very submissive catering to your every whim, your every wish and desire,  giving you complete and total control of me to you completely.   Tell me what your pleasure is Sir.  You know i am sitting here smiling.  🙂

Daily Reflections – Switching Roles?

That was a very interesting couple of links you sent me to tonight Sir.  i couldn’t get past the links without joining and something went wrong somewhere but i will figure that out when i have time tomorrow.  Hmmm, me Domming you Sir?  Oh but this could be so much fun.  i  feel that i can easily slip into this role.  Are you ready?  You might never look back,  My pleasure will be your pleasure sweetheart.   lol.    i just reminded you of your punishment fulfillment a few minutes ago. Check your email sir.   i expect it will be done within a decent time frame.  Don’t keep your Lady waiting too long sweetheart. Sleep well, you will need your rest. As my sub, if that is your wish dear sir, you will have assignments to do.  Don’t worry, i will still keep my promise that i made to you .  You can still give me that spanking i earned and i will still fulfill my promise of what i said i would do for you when i see you that first night again.  Then we will get down to reversing roles.. xo  And if by chance you are not happy being dommed, we can always switch back sir.  i can be very flexible (oooh yes, pun was intended).  🙂 .  Let the fun begin!  xoxoxoxoxo

Daily Reflections – Dancing

Last night i was in a belly dance show, and had so much fun.  Today i had a great day participating in a world wide event.  i had two performances with a bunch of other ladies in belly dance.  We had a blast!  It was outside and the weather was perfect.  It went so well.  i am so happy i was invited to join in and have a part in this event.   It will be something i always remember.  It was for a very good cause and i love dancing with my friends.

Daily Reflections – Switch for one night?

i have three pairs of boots.  i love my boots.  Three pairs and they are three different styles.  This winter barely got cold, so i didn’t get a chance to wear them.  It was just too hot.  i have my ankle boots.  They go great with my tight jeans.  Whether the legs are boot cut or flare it doesn’t matter, either way they look good.  Then i have my up to the bottom of the knee boot with a thicker high heel.  Those are great for jeans and a cute top, button down or pull over.  Or a longer skirt that gathers and has lace.  The third pair of boots are my black leather, five inch heel, thigh high boots with leather lace going all the way up the back.  Those boots are incredibly sexy and hot.  i love love love those boots.  They make me feel so sexy when i wear them. They go great with my black corset, and short black skirt, or my black corset and a tiny pair of black lace panties, lol.  Now that i am thinking about it, they could look like hooker boots, or Domme boots.  Which gives me an idea Sir.  giggling now.  🙂  How about this:  i know the next time i see you there is some business to take care of for the crime i have committed of pissing you off that one day.  So i know that first night we will be taking care of business.  i am getting that spanking, i know i have that coming and i also know i do deserve it., and i owe you something that will be fourty five minutes or however long you wish as promised, i always keep my promises Sir.  But the next night i would like to do something different.  Can we switch for a night?  How about that second night for the first time i will Domme you?  i will dress in my black leather and heels boots, with oh i don’t know i will surprise you.  Since i will be being the Domme that night i will choose my clothes for a change. Domming you,  i think that sounds like fun.  This is what i see could happen.  i will tell You what to wear.  🙂  i want you to wear a pair of silky boxers, they have to pass the touch test.  They have to feel good to touch.  And i know you hate ties, so i want you to wear a blue silky tie.  It must be blue and it must be silky soft to touch.  Don’t worry, you won’t be wearing it long on your neck, lol.  You will be wearing it though.  i haven’t decided.  On your wrist when i tie you up?  As a blindfold?  So just the boxers and the tie Sir.  i will bring the fun stuff.  rope?  handcuffs (definitely). Maybe some other stuff.   Be prepared to receive a spanking or two.  i will have my way with you.This could be so much fun, i think you will like it. i think i may like it.   i will be the boss, you can take the night off as boss.  🙂  You know i am sitting here with a big smile as i type this.  So what do you say?  Wanna play switch for one night when we see each other on the second night of course?