sparkles journal

bdsm, Owned and collared, slave, submission, daily life, and life's reflections

Yesterday it rained on my happiness

I have been so happy these past months.  Even though it isn’t always easy, I had a rough summer with accelerated college courses but still managed to get on the Dean’s list.  I went to work yesterday, I work as a professional Domme in a dungeon.  A client texted me a few days ago and said he made an appointment but it was with the wrong Domme.  He informed me that he told her he wanted me but she made the appointment with her.  He asked me if I could fix this because he wanted to see me.  I thought he was pulling my leg so I called the other mistress and in fact she told me it was true.  The guy called her and realized he had the wrong one and she said she made it with her anyway.  I didn’t know what to say except, can you cancel it on your calendar so I can schedule it for me because he wants it at that time with me.  He also wanted someone else as an extra, she makes half the amount of money that I do, because she is just an assist, which also was not the mistress he had originally called.  I actually prefer to work alone. but if the customer wants an extra I will go along with it.   The extra would be the dungeon owners wife.  Working as a pro Domme helps to give me some money while I am attending school.  My customers pay me very well.

The people that run the dungeon wanted a new girl to “sit in” on one of my sessions yesterday and I told them no.  I was not comfortable with it.  I didn’t know who the girl was or anything about her and I have never seen her before.  and they didn’t really know her either.  She could have been anyone. She came out of nowhere and just recently this week opened a Fetlife account with a lame profile.  I didn’t trust her or their judgement.  Everyone else they asked, all the other Domme’s had already refused.  I was the only one left.   Furthermore, they didn’t let me ask my client if it was alright with him, and I think that is just wrong on every level because it is suppose to be private and discreet and this man was already nervous because he was married.  I was about five minutes into my session when I was told this girl would be sitting in.  I informed the owners wife that was assisting me, that I already said no to them the night before and I meant it.  She informed me it didn’t matter what I or the customer wanted because her husband said it was going to happen.  Well, I had to leave my client for a few minutes to go speak with him.  For names sake I will call the dungeon owner ass on here.  I went in the office and this girl who was about twenty four was standing there dressed like she was going to have a Domme session.  I shook her hand and introduced myself politely and then informed her that I didn’t know her, I was not comfortable with the idea of her sitting in on a session so NO she could not.  I said “have you ever done Domme work before?”  She informed me that she was a professional .  I then replied “Well, then if you are a professional Domme, you would not need to sit in on one of my sessions you would know what you are doing.”   She looked scared and I don’t think she ever did Domme work in her life.   At that point the ASS told me she was going to sit in on my session, he didn’t care what I thought,  because he said so and that I owed him.  I looked at him and said “I don’t owe you a damn thing!”  He said “You had no shows before and I had to be here to open the dungeon for you.”  Then I replied “Yes and as I do recall, You took half of every one of those deposits so I don’t owe you anything.”  Then I went on to tell him how that I as a leader of a group that Master and I have, we have brought a lot of money into that dungeon.  At that point Ass was a real asshole and then threatened me telling me that If I didn’t let her sit in on my session that I would be sorry.  I snapped back at  him “Don’t threaten me.”  The conversation went on a few more minutes and I really wanted to tell him to his face exactly what I thought of his cheap lazy deceitful no good ass but I held it back.  The only reason I held it back FOR NOW is because of my Master and there would be a lot of disappointed people with no place to have a monthly party.  I would have disappointed a lot of people, because they would have no place to go for a dungeon for now.  Therefore, for Master and all of those people I bit my tongue.  I told him If my client sees this girl, she was not allowed to ever accept an appointment from him because I will be damn if she is going to try to steal any of my clients.  He promised me, she would never be allowed to schedule an appointment with my client.  I don’t believe him.  I don’t believe anything he says.   I looked at her, pointed my finger at her and told her “don’t say one word when you are in there.”  She came in and sat down.  I felt so angry and upset and my client had no say.  I wanted to tell him what was going on so he would have a choice, but they would not let me.  To me this was wrong on every level of wrong that could possibly be.  Part way through my session I see some light and I look over and she has her cell phone out.  I had my client tied down on a table.  I walked over to her and she smiled at me.  I was not smiling back.  When she saw that I was not smiling back her smile left quickly.   I informed her to put that cell phone away.  She did.  I got a few more minutes into my session and I thought I would show her what she was up against.  She was completed flat chested.  If she wore an A cup it would probably be too big.  I said  ” it is hot in here.”   I pulled off my top and her chin almost hit the floor.  There is no competition here.  Yes it was a cruel weapon.  I am petite, I weigh 120 lbs and I am 5’4″,  but my breast are very voluptuous.   I have to squeeze my breast into a DDD and I over flow the cups because I can never find any sexy bras in size  34G.  I have bought a couple but there is nothing pretty or sexy about those bras so I don’t wear them.  Yesterday, I was not wearing a bra.  I don’t think she will be around long.  I was upset so it ruined my session.  Let’s just say, I was in no mood to do a session because of everything that had happened, I was quite icy.  I certainly wasn’t going to show her anything that would have value to her to use in the future with anyone.  I felt bad for my customer and I felt so angry but kept my anger under control.  At the end of the session before the lights got turned on so my customer could gather his things, she was quietly informed that it was time for her to leave.  I was hoping my customer had not noticed someone else sitting in the room because I kept him busy and looking the other way but he did notice.  He wanted to know why someone else was sitting in the room, who was she and was I training her.  The extra that was working with me at that session the Asses wife, then told him, that she was a new Domme and just sitting in and if he wanted a session with her she would be happy to arrange it.  This is after I was assured by Ass that she would never be able to schedule an appointment with my client.

As far as I am concerned there is only one person I owe in my life.  I owe my master respect and gratitude. because he has truly earned it.  He has done so much for me.  He has treated me so well and has given me opportunities that I have never had before and his love for me is abundant as is my love for him.  The rest of this world can kiss my ass.  I don’t owe anybody anything.  I will not be a doormat for people to walk on.

Up until yesterday, I thought that couple  where I work,  were our friends.  They are not.  They are just mere business acquaintances.  I also thought the other mistress was a friend, until she tried to steal a client that wanted me. Maybe it was just bad behavior on her part, I can’t believe she told me that she did that.  A real friend would not try to steal a client from another friend.  I guess, money and friends do not mix.  Surely, she must have realized it was wrong, how could she not realize that?  I would never do that to someone.  I have had clients call me that I knew were the other Mistress’s client and told them that I could not see them because I don’t like to step on my friend’s toes.  They needed to call the mistress they had been seeing.  I didn’t want to make anyone upset or hurt their feelings.  I have respect for people.  Where is my respect in return?

More and more with each passing day I am finding out who my real friends are in this world and who my acquaintances are.    I have two very close friends and we are like three sisters together.  We are there for each other no matter what is going on in our lives.   Those two girls are my real friends.   I love them like sisters.   The rest, are just acquaintances.  They are people that I know, being one of the leaders of a BDSM community,  I know a lot of people.  I was told when I was a young girl that you will have many acquaintances in your lifetime, but your true friends, the ones you can really count on and call your friends you will probably be able to count on one hand.  I am finding this to be true.

It has been a rough week, the week end is coming.  I am looking forward to a fun week end.  Master has plans for us.  He really is so good to me.

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