vixen's submissive journal

submission, daily life, and life's reflections

Daily Reflections

Went to the gym after working today.  My work out as follows

treadmill 3 miles

ab crunch machine 45 lbs  120 times

throne leg lifts 45 times

i went at a different time today and apparently around 5:15 in the evening must be a popular time for people to work out.  It was kind of crowded.  i was lucky to get the machines when i did, including the treadmill. Note to self:  Don’t go at 5:15 in the evening anymore.  Too many people.  Not that i don’t like people, i do, but i like to have an easy selection of machines available to use when i want them.

Daily Reflections

Life is seemingly back to normal now.  Always busy and always having something to do.  Working today, then i will go to the gym and work out.  i went the day before yesterday, i wanted to go yesterday but life got in the way and i didn’t get home until very late and i was exhausted.  i emailed Sir while i was watching television and fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up and hour later and went to bed.  He is always in my thoughts and the first thing i do when i wake up is think of him and reach for my phone.  i am missing him.  i can’t wait to see him  again.

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Daily Reflections

Last night i worked out.  Did three miles on the treadmill.  Did the ab crunch machine 120 times, and the throne leg lifts 45.  Then proceeded to ruin my work out by coming home and having found a chocolate chip cookie someone left on the table in a little bag, so i ate it.  Then i was thirsty i opened the refrigerator hmmm, looking back at me were a couple of Smirnoff’s.  Well now, it was Friday night so i opened one drank some, made some peanut butter  toast to go with it.  Still hungry, how dare someone leave dark chocolate covered marshmallow Easter eggs on the kitchen table.  i took care of that, i ate them!  Needed more drink another Smirnoff.  Didn’t dare try to answer customer emails after that!    It was a weak hour or so,  i emailed Master and let him know i needed to be spanked!  lol,

Today is a new day.  i am out of Easter eggs and Smirnoff’s . i think i am out of peanut butter too.   The kitchen is safe again!  lol.  It is another day, another chance to get it right.

Dailly Reflections Sub drop?

ugggh,,,,,maybe i need chocolate or wine, or both.  Saying good bye for a while was the hard part, and this is hard too.  Trying to remember the recent most wonderful days i have had in years just happened not very long ago and the visits to come in the future, but stuck in this slump at this moment.   We both have busy lives with work, families, and spouses.  i hope he is feeling alright.  This is the hard part, but i have to say, it is worth it.

i was so worried he wouldn’t like me when we met in person, and, that i wouldn’t meet his expectations.   When that elevator door opened and he was standing there smiling at me, he had me at Hello.   He is  most wonderful, caring, kind, considerate, conscientious man.   Master is a perfect gentlemen. He is firm but fair, his attitude is always calm, calm voice, strong hands, firm grip, the very best Dom/Master.  He is the best and most generous lover i have ever had.  He is also very ambitious and successful.  He is a rare find.  Men like him are far and few between.  i am so glad he found me.

i will never forget his question to me while we were out having dinner at a very nice restaurant.  He asked how i would feel if i was living with him as his sub, and if we had company, how would i feel if we were in the bedroom and he was spanking me and the company in the other room could hear and knew that he was spanking me.  My answer was that  i think if i was a live in sub and we had company staying with us, that i am sure they would know i was Master’s sub and if they heard me getting spanked i really wouldn’t care if they heard.

Hmmm, now  i wonder if there was reason for that question, like the surveys i answered that he gave, because he had reasons for the surveys but i didn’t realize that until the visit.

The couple of days that i was with him were the happiest days that i have had in years.,  Thinking about them brings a smile to my face so i am going to try to cheer up by thinking of those positives and hopefully more positives with him to come, because i really care about him a lot. i want him to come back and he wants to come back so this is a great start to a great relationship.   Even though we only knew each other for about four months before we met and only spent a couple of very precious days together, He has stolen my heart, hook, line and sinker.

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Daily Reflections

How i feel today:

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Daily Reflections -getting back on schedule

The last couple of days of my life have just been so amazing, i will never forget them.  Ever.  Feeling a little down now, a very mixed emotions day, but remembering it is not forever.  It wasn’t a forever goodbye, more like i will see you later.  Hopefully sooner than later Master.  lol.  i have nobody to snuggle up with tonight, or LOL push off the side of the bed when i am sleeping without realizing it,  lol ,  it will feel strange.   Already looking forward to Master’s return.  Life and business calls.

i am exhausted today but i have been trying to keep busy working and even though my thirty day challenge is over i am still going to get to the gym daily to work out.  i missed the last couple of days, but i am sure i burned off some calories anyway (giggling now).  🙂    i really didn’t feel up to going to the gym today, i was so tired by the time i got there, i didn’t do as much as usual, some workout is better than none, but i know it is good for me and i was trying to keep my mind occupied although my mind was elsewhere when i was exercising, especially on the treadmill.

my workout today as follows:

Ab crunch Machine  35 lbs   160 times

Throne  30

Treadmill 3 miles

Daily Reflections – a note for Sir

Even though i just left a little while ago, i miss you so much already.  i can hardly wait to see you again.  Thank you so much Master for such a wonderful time.  It meant everything to me. You are the best Master in the world.   XOXOXOXOXOX

Daily Reflections – a little note

Dear Master,

i will never forget our first meeting, it was very memorable.   had a wonderful time, thank you so much Master.  i don’t know why i laugh when i am being spanked.  It must be my playful side,  I’m sorry about that, i will try to keep that under control Master.  Have a great day today, looking forward to seeing you.

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hmmm, reminds me of something. How about you Master?

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Daily Reflections – 30 Days to a Better Me

Final days approaching and i forgot to work out yesterday remembering at almost 11 pm while i was on facebook.  Like i had spare time or something!  lol.  All of a sudden it was like a light turned on, i hurried, cleared my history, lol, shut down the laptop, found my shoes and hurried off to the gym!  i was completely alone in there, i have my own key.  It felt strange but i am on a mission.  Locking myself in the gym i set out to do my exercises.  In these final days until Monday i am giving it all i have and i did.  If i had known what would be happening in my life, i know i would have started this daily workout much sooner and i would have already reached my goal, but here i am.  Flaws and all.  i stare in the mirror and wish i could go back in time, but i can’t.  i gave life three times, and it was so hard on my body.  Even if i get it back to where it was as far as shape and it is so close, it will still never be the same.  My body has been to hell and back.  The body can go back to shape i see, and stretchmarks they will fade to a degree, but never ever go away completely. They are embarrassing , even if they are my badges for giving three lives, as i look in the mirror and stare at the marks, i will never accept them. Why did i have to get stretchmarks?   i hope i am not a disappointment to him, i hope his expectations are not too high for me.  i really like him so much already in these last almost four months that we have been communicating daily.  Tomorrow is the big day.  i couldn’t sleep last night, i am so excited and nervous.  More excited than anything though.  i really want him to like me as much as i like him.  i know he feels the same way about that.  He has been working out every day too, sometimes twice a day, and that puts a smile on my face as i sit here and think about it.

This leaves today and very very early tomorrow left to work out.  Still hoping for that tiny miracle, i see improvement, but looking for more. There is always room for improvement.

My workout last night as follows:

Ab Crunch machine  40 lbs   155 times

Leg Press  55 lbs 50 times

Throne 95 times   ( i have really come a long way from when i could only do two!)

Lat Pull down  25 lbs  20 times

Seated Dip 25 lbs  25 times

i am feeling much stronger than i did about a month ago.  i can’t believe i can do 95 leg lifts on that throne!  That is exciting!  And the ab machine i will never forget when i first used it.  The first few times i used that machine when i joined the gym i could only do 20 lbs and about 30 reps.  i have come a long way, and i will continue to go further.

i will try to get back to my journal. tonight with today’s work out.  Tomorrow  and Tuesday, i may not get a chance to write.  My anticipation of tomorrow is overwhelming.  i am looking forward to a great couple of days!  Deep breaths!

Daily Reflections – Anticipation

Excited, anticipating, nervous, happy, i feel like i may burst!  Monday is fast approaching, i have never looked forward to a day in such a long time as i am looking forward to Monday.  It is so special to me.  This smile, no matter what is going on, frustrations with work, home, family, it doesn’t matter, the smile stays.  That first meeting.  My heart is practically racing with excitement as i type this.  i don’t think i will have time to write in my blog on Monday or Tuesday coming up.  Deep breaths, i hope i can sleep these next two nights.  i will need my rest.  That is all i can say about it.  i can hardly wait.  i wish today was Monday.

Daily Reflections – 30 Days to a Better Me

i worked out yesterday, i am just now getting here to log it.  As the final days of my 30 day challenge are here with only a couple of days left i am in my desperate attempts to shape up NOW,  i have come a good ways to improvement, but i fear i still have a long way to go and i really wanted to look my best by Monday,  This was so important to me.  i pulled out the measure tape a couple days ago.  Since i began this challenge i have lost two inches in my hips and about an inch in my waist.  My legs are looking a little better, but still need some work.  My butt is looking better, my abs, well they are better than they were, but i am  still not happy with them,  That C-Section area is a tough one to fix. It has improved but not enough.  Monday was a very important day for me, i wish i could have done better,.i also strained one of my knees on a machine the other day trying to use too much weights.  Therefore i had to be careful working out yesterday.  However, i will still continue on with my daily workout because i know it is working.

Yesterday 3 – 13 15 Workout as follows:

Ab crunch Machine 40 lbs  115 times

Throne 55 times

Leg Press 55 lbs  70 times

Lat pull down 25 lbs  30 times

Treadmill 3.18 miles

Daily Reflections – 30 Days to a Better Me

It is getting down to the wire now.  i worked a very physical job today all day and i am exhausted.  My mind says i need to still go to the gym.  The rest of me says i want dinner, a bath, and bed.  i think i am  opting for the dinner, bath and bed i can hardly keep my eyes open.

Daily Reflections – 30 Days to a Better Me

With only four days left of my challenge now i am pleading with my body to cooperate!  i am giving it all i have just hoping to do what i set out to do.  i have been trying so desperately to get this body toned.  i may fall short, but i do think that eventually it will be toned, just not as quick as i had hoped for.  i strained my knee on one of the machines yesterday, so i stayed off all the leg work equipment except the treadmill,

My workout earlier tonight as follows:

Ab crunch machine 40 lbs   100 times

throne (hanging equipment)  40 leg raises

Treadmill  3.76 miles

lat pull down  25 lbs  25 times

then back to the ab crunch machine 35 lbs.  75 times

floor exercises on yoga mat,  numerous crunches, leg lifts, butt lifts, pelvic tilts, 5 inches ( 5 inches is where you lift your head and upper body off the floor about 5 inches and also raise your legs up off the floor keeping them straight about five inches off the floor, also hands are at your sides palms facing down but off the floor, do not support yourself with them.  The only support you have is your bottom that is the only part of you still touching the floor.  it can be as numerous lifts, or one lift lasting ten seconds or more put your head and legs back down and do it again.  this is felt primarily in the lower abs and upper abs.)  i do both continuous and steady.

Daily Reflections – 30 Days to a Better Me

i worked out earlier today.  The gym was much busier than when i usually go.  However, i don’t live in the best neighborhood and it was suggested to me by someone that i try to get to work out earlier than what i have been doing.  It was nice to be home from working out before it got dark outside.  i may try to even go earlier.  Not much time left for this challenge.  This challenge is over on March 15th.  Although the challenge will be over i will continue to work out daily.  i feel great.  i also don’t think i will be quite where i want to be at the end but i have tried so hard.  Eventually, i may reach my goal,  It is not a goal of weight, but more of it is a goal of shape and toning.

Today’s work out:

Seated leg curl 40 lbs  20 times

Leg press 55 lbs.  35 times

Outer thigh  55 lbs  25 times

Inner thigh  40 lbs  25 times

ab crunch  35 lbs 75 times

ab crunch  45 lbs  45 times

Throne 27

Seated Dip 25 lbs  25 times

Lat pull down 25 lbs  25 times

Daily Reflections

i am working at my desk getting orders ready to go, and i can’t even wipe the smile off my face.  How can one person feel so happy?  i have amazing adventures coming up, and i think i am one of the happiest and grateful people on earth right now.

Now i have to hurry and finish my work then two dance classes and working out at the gym,  Still trying to get this body in shape, six days left of my challenge!  i feel great!