sparkles journal

bdsm, Owned and collared, slave, submission, daily life, and life's reflections

March has been a rough month

When it rains it pours.  i have heard that quote stated by many my entire life.  i have to say i don’t know the original person who came up with that quote but they weren’t kidding. It rings truth.  My year started out so amazing.  My shop had record sales and the numbers kept climbing. i was working so many hours i barely slept. Things were great with my life all the way around really.  i had so much to be grateful for and i felt so much happiness most of the time.  Life was good, i really couldn’t have asked for anything more. i felt so lucky, and i was.  March has been a rough month so far.  One tragedy after another, so yes when it rains it pours.  First Master (i will refer to him as Sir from here and out) and i agreed to part ways.  Life for him with his job and other things had become so busy for him he really didn’t have the time for a D/S relationship anymore.  i was extremely depressed, lost, confused wasn’t sure i would pull myself together.  i am grateful for my friends here who have given me the emotional support and advice it means so much to me.  It helped me to get a grip on myself and i didn’t answer anyone right away at first because i was too busy crying and i needed time to think.  Then a couple of days ago my computer got hacked into.  Talk about almost losing it completely by then!  i realized then that i had to pull myself together to be strong to get through this.  Somehow they were able to get in and mess with all of my passwords not to mention the problems i had with the computer. My stomach was in knots, it made me feel sick because i was so upset, i could barely sleep.   i had to buy another computer, change all my passwords and there are so many passwords because i run two businesses from it plus all my personal information.  So my livelihood was at serious stake.  Then of course even though it is a very nice computer it is a different program than what i am use to so i had to hurry up and learn how to use it because through all of this i had to take care of my online customers!  What a challenge this has been for me.   So i have been forced to be strong, even though there were moments when i thought i would loose my mind,  because if i wasn’t, well it could have gotten much worse.  i was also reminded by someone today that i have to do my taxes.  They are hard to do because i have to do them for two businesses and personal.  It takes me forever to do them because they are difficult for me.   There will be more crying. yelling at my new computer, feeling hopeless moments.  Maybe this will help to make me stronger, we’ll see.   i am hoping things turn for the better soon.  i am hoping for that ray of sunshine instead of rain and clouds.  It has to get better soon.

2 Comments

  1. I feel for you. I have had a tough couple of months as well. But we’ll both get through it!

    • Thank you. Yes we will. A close friend has told me a few times “this too shall pass.” It will. i actually smiled and laughed today. Feeling better. Computer problem taken care of too. Starting to look better already! Time heals. i hope yours gets better soon too!

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