sparkles journal

bdsm, Owned and collared, slave, submission, daily life, and life's reflections

Patience

Dear Sir,

As i was taking my shower this morning, i was thinking of you and i ran out of hot water, again!  i didn’t mind it though because the cool water was refreshing as i rinsed the conditioner out of my hair and the water ran down my back.  ImageThis conversation could go many ways right now, but what was i thinking about while i was thinking of you Master? How much i love to communicate with you.  How i love having you for my Master.  Our secret emails that i had to sneak in that we had on Friday and how i love to turn you on and please you.  How i have given my submissiveness to you and you having the reigns of control over me.   Then i thought about my patience or for a better term the lack of my patience.  i hate week ends.  i use to like week ends, but now i dread them.  i know we are both very busy with family matters on the week ends and please forgive me for my next statement, but the emails on the week ends are far and few between.  i struggle with my patience.   Maybe it is my imagination.  Please don’t misunderstand me Sir, however, i really miss communicating with you on the week ends.  Then i do have to remember,  and remind myself that you are my Master, and you are in control, not the other way around. i am your submissive, i have given you control over me, and i know we have talked about patience,  and i do have a slight problem with patience, okay maybe just a tad bit more than slight.  i have all the patience of a saint with children and animals it is just patience in general that i seem to have issues with.  One of these issues is that i have a problem with patience on week ends.  i begin to wonder, what happened if anything?  Am i not doing enough to please you, am i lacking something somewhere or not fulfilling something,  or am i just being too good of a submissive, or maybe i am thinking too much into this and week ends are just busy.   You have never had to punish me, although i still think that assignment on jealousy was a punishment.  i know you said it wasn’t.  But i knew i had behaved very badly,  so it felt like a punishment to me.

 i truly miss you on the week ends.  i am going to keep myself busy doing other things right now, but i miss you so much.  i have to remember patience.  Patience.

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