sparkles journal

bdsm, Owned and collared, slave, submission, daily life, and life's reflections

My Proudest Moments

we have had a look at jealousy in your life. now I would like to hear about your proudest moments. what makes them stand out as such and what other proud moments do you hope to have in the future?

Dear Sir,
my proudest moments:
i guess i can start when i was younger at age 10 and learned how to play the keyboard on my own.  i didn’t think it was that big of an accomplishment but my parents sure were proud of me.  Then the girl scouts.  i was in them from brownies when i was seven til seniors.  it is something i stuck through.  i learned so many things, and  i earned so many badges they didn’t fit on my sash.  Then there were the ballet recitals on the stages.  My last ballet recital that i did i performed in four different dances.  But i was particularly proud of how well i did in my pointe dance.  i practiced for hours.   i didn’t make any mistakes.  i loved my costume for that one too.  It was a Greece theme.  The recital was held in a high school auditorium with a full size stage and i don’t know where all those people came from but it was packed.
Graduating High School was a proud moment for me.  My parents were very proud.
 The day i turned 18 ( i didn’t have a job because my parents made me quit my government job a few days before college started, i was still seventeen and they insisted i quit and go to college even though after college began five days later i was 18), but  i still moved out of my parents house swearing i would never go back there to live.  i had a thousand dollars saved up but it didn’t get me far.  after i paid for the apartment and furniture i didn’t have much left.  Two weeks after i moved out my parents came by to tell me they were going to RI on vacation for a month.  I had a loaf of bread, a jar of peanut butter, a jar of jelly and five cents (actually a nickel) left.   They wanted to know if i needed any money before they left for anything.  i lied.  i told my parents i was fine, i had food, (technically i did ), i didn’t let them near my cabinets, and i told them i had money (i did, i had a nickel).  LOL.   They left and went on vacation and they were gone an entire month.  i used my bread, peanut butter and jelly sparingly to make it last while i went to college and hunted for a job.  First i ran out of jelly, no problem.  then the peanut butter and bread.  i was hungry, more incentive to get a job.  i found one.  It was a job in a plastic factory but it was a job.  Full time, Second shift Monday through Friday.  That and i had classes beginning at 7:30 am.  i sunk to a level to borrow five dollars from a family friend for food.  (More bread, and peanut butter), with a promise he would never tell anyone.  He didn’t.  The proud moment was when my parents got back to town, i was still in college, i had a full time job , food in my cabinets and refrigerator, and some new clothes, and i even found time for a boyfriend on the week ends.  i made it.  i was very proud of that moment.  i survived.  My parents, especially my dad said i would never make it that i would be back in a few weeks, but there i was.  i did it.  Although, my grades suffered a little because i was so tired all the time.  i still got my AA degree.  i wanted to go on to the university but i just couldn’t afford it then.
i was proud to have three healthy babies.  my first one i didn’t have any pain medication for.  They asked me numerous times if i wanted something for pain, but i refused.  i was in a lot of pain, but i was more concerned for the baby’s health than myself.  No pain meds for the third one, i waited to late to walk in.  When i had my son, they did give me what they called a tiny dose of Valium to take the edge off because i said i was going home and he could just stay in me forever and it would be ok.  The girl in the next room was screaming and it scared me.  I slept all through my labor and they had to wake me up to push him out.  I remember telling them to let me sleep ten more minutes they insisted i wake up.   my first baby,  i was in labor for 24 hours.  i thought i was doing so well dealing with all the labor pains since i refused all pain medications.   Then she decided she didn’t want to come out and worked her way up and sideways.  They couldn’t get her to turn and told me i had to have a c section.  i asked for a bikini cut.  She was a beautiful baby and the biggest one in the nursery at that!  My second and  third babies were beautiful healthy babies too, i had them vaginally against doctors wishes, but  i didn’t want to deal with another c section.  i was proud  that i had  them naturally.  
i guess what i also could call a proud time for me was when i was actually at my lowest time in my life.  it was right after i had my first baby.  Even though i was beaten and starved and had no food at all and survived on tap water for thirty days,  i still found the strength to take care of my baby.  She was the most precious thing in the world to me.    i would have never let anything bad happen to her and i found the strength and i was determined to live so i would be there for her.  Even though it was very difficult, i never gave up.  i knew it had to change for us.  
i was a very proud parent of my children when they had accomplishments at school.  I am very proud that i have five grandchildren and young enough to see them grow up i hope.   Who knows maybe i will see their future children grow up if i am really lucky.
i was very proud of myself when i received my CNA certificate and more proud when i landed a job as a CNA.  First i did private duty care then i worked in the Alzheimer’s lock down unit.  
i had to home school my third child for a while  when she was younger.  She did not do well in school as far as getting along with others or some of her teachers.  She has bipolar.  She use to take six hour tantrums on a regular basis, i let her live.  LOL.  There were numerous problems so i took her out of the public school system and home schooled her myself.  My husband said i was very brave.  He said he would never do it.  She loved the lessons that i prepared for her.   i think i did more work than her.  She home schooled for a couple of years.  We tried school again at ninth grade because i thought she needed some social skills that she was not getting at home.   She kept skipping classes.   Then she got pregnant.  So much for social skills.  So i had to home school her again.  When her baby was six months old my daughter ran away and i took care of her baby for three years.   Life got messy.  But i must have done something right with my daughter, because when she took her entrance exams for college she did very well on most of it.
i guess my  accomplishments to be proud of also is now i am  running two business, solely by myself.  It is not an easy task.  i put in a lot of hours between the two.  It requires hard work, dedication, time, effort and determination.  i am determined to succeed.  i love being my own boss, and i really enjoy what i do.  i like my customers and they like me.  i love making my customers happy.  i do whatever it takes to get a job done for both businesses.  i work seven days a week.
 My very present day accomplishment that i was told i should be proud of by my Master is that i am a very good and dedicated submissive.  i am sure he is right.  Since i have been his sub i have done everything he has requested of me.  i always try to make sure that i am available to him.  i love to please him and his happiness is everything to me.  i’ve never even once used my safeword.  i am very happy that he is pleased with me.
My hope for the future:
In the future i would eventually like to just hire someone and supervise for one of my businesses or to just eventually do so well in one of my particular businesses that i can make a good living from that and only concentrate on running one successful business.  ( i can’t say what they are because i am trying to remain anonymous for this published article in my journal).  That is going to take a while though.

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